Reptiles in Love: Ending Destructive Fights and Evolving Toward More Loving Relationships
by Don Ferguson Ph.D.

According to psychologist Ferguson, we're all reptiles in love: conflicts between people, especially in intimate relationships, are often triggered by our "reptilian" brains, the part that brings on a fight-or-flight stance rather than rational or mutually beneficial behaviors—when threatened, we lash out. Too many relationship guidebooks rush the couple to resume a feeling of intimacy, says Ferguson, when in fact, fear and anger must be reduced and trust re-established first. Addressing what he calls "stupid fighting" (over nonsense: "You're cheap," "It's your mother's fault"), Ferguson takes a close look at the dynamics of intimacy and how it is that people who have the greatest passion for each other also seem to dole out the most venom when threatened. This book offers understanding of the mechanics of human relationships and sensible guidelines for lessening tension and resolving conflict.

Reinventing Your Life
by Jeffrey Young, Ph.D. and Janet Klosko, Ph.D.

Identify and break the 11 most common, self-defeating emotional patterns, or lifetraps. The book provides specific change techniques for readers to follow to remediate problems born of childhood origin, e.g. partner choices and self-defeating behavior patterns.

The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook
by Edmund J. Bourne

 

 

 

 

The Depression Workbook 2 Edition: A Guide for Living with Depression and Manic Depression
by Mary Ellen Copeland

 

 

The Worry Control Workbook
by Mary Ellen Copeland

 

 

 

 

Should I Stay Or Go? How Controlled Separation (CS) Can Save Your Marriage
by Lee Raffel

 

 

 

 

 

 

Are You the One for Me? Knowing Who's Right and Avoiding Who's Wrong
by Barbara D’Angelis

 

 

 

 

Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay: A step-by-step guide to helping you decide to stay in or get out of your relationship
by Myra Kirshenbaum

 

 

 

 

 

Adult Children of Alcoholics
by Dr. Janet Wolfowitz

 

 

 

 

 

10 Days to Self Esteem Workbook
by David Burns

 

 

 

 

 

The Verbally Abusive Relationship
by Patricia Evans

Please note: Her list of the characteristics of Verbal Abuse are the best I have seen and why I've included it in this list. My clients are often surprised when they read the list and discover that they are communicating in an abusive way. However, she attributes abuse to being a gender issue i.e. male-generated, which is an oversimplification that will alienate many readers.

 

When Words Hurt: How to Keep Criticism from Undermining Your Self-Esteem
by Mary Lynne Heldmann

• Understand how and why criticism undermines your self esteem

• Take control of your responses to criticism

• Listen to and think objectively about criticism

• Deal with childish responses to criticism

• Balance your feelings with rational thinking

• Build self-esteem in the midst of a verbal attack

• Give criticism tactfully yourself

 

Dance of Anger and Dance of Intimacy (2 books)
by Harriet Lerner

 

 

 

 

 

The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to your Mate
by Gary Chapman

 

 

 

 

 

The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty Are Used Against Women
by Naomi Wolf

 

 

 

 

 

 

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why Marriages Succeed or Fail and How you Can Make Yours Last
by Dr. John Gottman

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
by Dr. John Gottman

 

 

 

 

Getting the Love You Want
by Dr. Harville Hendrix

 

 

 

 

 

Stop Walking on Eggshells: Help for loved ones who care about someone with Borderline Personality Disorder
by Randi Kreger & Paul Mason

 

 

 

The Couples Comfort Book, a creative guide filled with ways for couples to stay connected in a busy world
by Jennifer Louden

 

 

 

 

The Beck Diet Solution; train your brain to think like a thin person. A cognitive behavioral approach to weight loss and management
by Judith S. Beck, Ph.D.